1. Joan Rivers vs. Lindsay Lohan
Winner: Joan Rivers
Former actress and the jailbird and naughty Lindsay Lohan is consistent water cooler fodder because of her hard-partying ways, but she did not react well to Joan Rivers’ barbs as she faced the judge for violating the probation terms of her 2007 drug and alcohol case.
After Rivers tweeted one-liners like, “Lindsay Lohan said she would not mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor,” Lohan defended herself by tweeting, “Joan Rivers and her ‘stargument’ make me believe that she and Michael Lohan are a match made in heaven.” Geez. With all that fake tanning, you’d think LaLohan would have thicker skin. Hit the road Lindsay! You lose this one.
2. Leah Remini vs Sharon Osbourne
Winner: Sharon Osbourne
After Remini was fired from The Talk, she blamed one person and that was Sharon Osbourne. “Sharon thought me and Holly were ‘ghetto'” she tweeted. “We were not funny, awkward and didn’t know ourselves. She has the power that was given to her.”
Osbourne responded, “In response to Leah Remini’s continuous comments that I had her fired from “The Talk, let me just go on the record to say I had absolutely nothing to do with her departure from the show and have no idea why she continues to take to Twitter to spread this false gossip.”
Remini wrote later, “I will not respond to Sharon BUT only to say this, IF she wanted to clear it up she has my number & has had ALL this time and didn’t use it not even to say she was sorry. so to Sharon I say… Well done Sharon, you won. I will move on now as you suggested. And so should u. Be at Peace.”
Sharon Osbourne won the catfight since she was the one who kept her job. Someone teach them to write grammatically!
3. Fox News’ Andy Levy vs. Chris Brown
Winner: Andy Levy
R&B singer Chris Brown, well known for his sensitive and self-aware demeanor, recently tweeted, “No more planking for me unless it’s on a sexy lady! Lol,” obviously referring to the Internet meme that compels idiots to lie flat on a surface while somebody snaps a photo. Fortunately, the irony – and the opportunity for wordplay – of Brown’s tweet was not lost. In perhaps the most genius retweet ever, Andy Levy, host of Fox News’ “Red Eye,” added, “You spelled ‘punching’ wrong.” The problem is, nobody puts Crybaby Chris in a corner. Brown immediately called Levy out for conducting himself in a manner not even suited for children, to which Levy eventually digressed.
4. George Lopez vs. Kirstie Alley
Winner: Kirstie Alley
Recently canceled talk-show host George Lopez tweeted jokes, the butt of which was Kirstie Alley, after an end-of-March performance by the former Fat Actress on “Dancing with the Stars.” Lopez referred to Alley as a little piggy, tweeting that before the show “she went to the market and then she had roast beef.” Alley wasn’t amused. After her fans demanded an apology from Lopez, Alley huffed and puffed and blew his glass house down when she cleverly compared Lopez, a self-professed alcoholic, to a “big bad, drunk woolf” who meets his demise by falling “in a boiling pot of vodka.”
What do you think about the feud? Does it make you love Alley more for standing up for herself? Or do you think her replies to Lopez were just as insensitive? Sound off in the comments below.
George Lopez later made an announcement via Twitter saying that he was sorry for joking about the size of Dancing with the Stars contestant Kirstie Alley. “I misjudged the joke,” the comedian said in a Tweet.
5. Samantha Ronson vs. Lindsay Lohan
Winner: Samantha Ronson
Another fight another loss for Lindsay.
During their rocky relationship in 2009, not only did DJ Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan have public blowouts, but Lindsay also took out her frustrations on her lover to her Twitter fanbase: “You JUST told me that your friends are worth more than I am to your family.” On another occasion, Lohan proclaimed that Ronson had been cheating on her, tweeting: “I was right all along. Cheat.”
6. Justin Bieber vs. Would-Be Hacker
Winner: Justin Bieber
Canadian pop/R&B singer Justin Bieber may have found “Somebody to Love” (seriously, how cute is Selena Gomez?), but Michigan teen Kevin Kristopik will never make the cut. After learning that Kristopik tried to hack into the Twitter account of a friend of Bieber’s to obtain the phenom’s phone number, Bieber fired back by tweeting Kristopik digits, disguised as his own, to his many millions of followers. Justice was served when the Detroit delinquent received more than 10,000 text messages in two hours. Ironically, that ringing sound Kristopik heard was in his own ears after his parents received the phone bill.
7. Nick Cannon vs. Eminem
Winner: Nick Cannon
Who is probably the only person in the world who can erase a smile off the always good-natured face of Nick Cannon? One guess. He’s known as rap’s Mr. No-Holds-Barred: Eminem.
After Eminem rapped about Mariah Carey and her husband Nick Cannon on his 2009 album, Relapse, Cannon went on Twitter to defend his wife, calling the rapper ‘Slim Lamey’ and tweeting: “Quote of the day, ‘Never argue with fools because from a distance people can’t tell who is who.’” He also added the rather cryptic fighting words: “This ain’t checker. This is chess!” So let the games begin!
You want the scoop? Here it is…
nickcannon Has anyone heard this Eminem joint? I love it! I mean I hate it! He’s the GOAT! Except I’m about to intimidate him into taking this song off his album! Wait, no, I’m gonna say I will, then pretend I never said anything!
eminem *tap tap* Hello? I’m new to this twitter shit, does anyone know how to make a chainsaw noise? Is there like an emoticon or some shit?
nickcannon @eminem There you are slim lamey! LOL!
nickcannon *takes shirt off*
nickcannon *blows away*
eminem WHO IS THIS? IS THIS A CELEBRITY? I HATE CELEBRITIES!
nickcannon @eminem it’s your worst nightmare bitch! and that’s not just the Creatine and protein shakes talking! LOL. And yes I capitalized Creatine, what?! I’ma be Creatine an asswhuppin’!
nickcannon Oh SHIT, that’s a hot line, I better
write that down. @mariahcarey baby, i need some paper, u got some paper?
mariahcarey @nickcannon baby, you know your allowance day isn’t until saturday.
nickcannon @mariahcarey no, i mean…ah, forget it
docdre @nickcannon Dog, you do NOT want to do this. trust me.
nickcannon @docdre shut up Dre!!! if i wanted to talk to you i’d leave a few more dozen voicemails asking you to sell me a track!
docdre @nickcannon srsly man, have u seen me recently? i look like an almond sitting on top of a sack of pumpkins.
nickcannon @docdre I guess no one told you I’m nice in the ring! I’ve been training in boxing and Martial Arts for years! *kisses biceps* *misses*
docdre @nickcannon yeah, well, i’m nice in the…i’m…Em, I need to go in on this dude. Gimme somethin’ real quick.
eminem @docdre You got a long Uz’ and you carry it all day.
docdre @nickcannon I got a long Uz’ and I carry it all day!
eminem @docdre I’m triple platinum doing 50 a week still!
docdre @nickcannon Em’s triple platinum doin’ 50 a week steel!
eminem @docdre STILL! Doin’ 50 a week STILL!
docdre @eminem my bad, homie. these trapezius muscles are blocking my ears like a muthafucka.
nickcannon Marshall, I thought we got passed the days where white men could spew vulgar obscenities at our beautiful queens and get away with it. What’s next?
eminem @nickcannon dunno, guess you could actually be good at any of the things you do?
eminem @nickcannon wait, sorry, that didn’t sound psychopathic enough.
eminem *scribbles in notebook*
eminem @nickcannon “Testicle twista, Lunesta digester, bespectacled Lecter/with ether and chloroform i’ll deform your fleshy erection”
nickcannon my what now?
eminem I’M PHIL SPECTOR WHEN I DRILL AND FILL RECTUMS/l’M THE SPHINCTER WRECKER, RESURRECT YOUR CORPSE AND THEN SEX YA!
nickcannon @eminem is there something you want to tell me dog?
OfficerRAWSE @eminem Tell me too, you monkey-ass honky. Yeah, I said it! Contradictions don’t mean shit to the BAWSE! Marinate on that one before I come see you with these long-ass Bambi eyelashes!
OfficerRAWSE *flattens midsized city*
eminem @nickcannon Man, i haven’t been out of the house in four years. I feel like starting some beef! Who’s on Dawson’s Creek right now?
iamdiddy I LOVE YOU ALL LET’S GET IT! THIS FEUD IS GETTING ME OPEN LIKE CASSIE’S VAGINA! STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT, THOUGH, OR I’LL TELL MY INTERN TO THREATEN YOU WITH A CEASE AND DESIST!!!!! LET’S GOOOO!!!!!!
nickcannon @iamdiddy Man, what’s good with a deal? We’re both empire builders! U got Sean John, I got that hot PNB Nation shit!
eminem I got Shady Ltd! My shit is hot in predominantly Latino neighborhoods! Hook up a sleeveless Shady Ltd. hoodie with some Paco jeans and you’re good 2 go! Vamanos!
iamdiddy Oh shit vamanos!! I’m totes stealing that shit money!!! Come see me in the shark section!!! THAT’S THE CASSIE’S VAGINA SECTION!!!! VAMANOS!!!!!!!
TheRealCashis Yeah man!!! That Shady shit makes a nice warm blanket too!!! Makes this park bench feel like the Radisson! *holds up WILL RAP FOR FOOD sign with@BobbyCreekwater*
nickcannon Fuck Shady, man, I got that form-fitting shit. Haven’t you admired my physique on Wild ‘N’ Out?
nickcannon I mean Wild ‘N’ Out the sketch comedy show, not the drag parade.
eminem @nickcannon “Man, don’t tell me about drag parades/that’s a fag capade, an ass cavalcade/it gets me just about aroused enough to say/I don’t understand why people think I’m halfway gay”
nickcannon @GLAAD Holy shit, are y’all hearing this?!
GLAAD @nickcannon We’ve thought this for years, believe us.
RapRadar DID YOU HEAR THAT EM LINE? THAT SHIT IS THE HOTNESS! KILL YOURSELF! NICK CANNON IS A LAME! OL’ CHOPPA SUIT WEARIN ASS NI**A! YOU WANT SOME MORE FIVE-MONTH-OLD WEB REFERENCES? GET AT US! HA! FREE YAYO!
VibeMag @RapRadar You tell ’em! You’re the king of this internet shit!
nickcannon @RapRadar man, fuck y’all. my wife is a strong black woman. angela davis ain’t got shit on mimi!
mariahcarey @nickcannon u tellem baby. get at ’em on youtuuuuuube!
nickcannon @mariahcarey yeah u like that right baby? ur like sojourner truth mixed with bai ling and angela merkel!
mariahcarey @nickcannon …i don’t think all those women r black, baby.
nickcannon @mariahcarey neither are you baby! ur part german prime minister and i love you for it! really though, can i get my allowance now?
eminem Where’s Nick Lachey? What is this American Idol shit? I NEED ENEMIES!
nickcannon *turns to the side*
RapRadar Ha! Hold on, lemme get the flip cam out and film my laptop screen. Ha!
eminem HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PETS.COM SOCK PUPPET I’M GONNA LOCK HIM IN MY BASEMENT AND SODOMIZE HIM WITH THIS @STATQUO CONTRACT!!!
nickcannon Argh! *does 3 pushups* *poses*
eminem @nickcannon “hey nick cannon watch my dick spit dannon/don’t be hurt that’s just that yogurt splurt that sticks to your lips, cap’n”
nickcannon Man, forget it. I can’t believe you’re actually giving me a leg to stand on.
TheRealCashis *actually dead of malnutrition*
8. Anderson Cooper vs MIA
M.I.A. told her fans to check out a documentary on the fighting in Sri Lanka and the Tamil Tigers group, Sri Lanka’s Killing Fields, then bashed Anderson for calling her a terrorist: “someone should make @AndersonCooper watch it / film it and show the world what happens when respected journos get it wrong.
“@AndersonCooper called me a terrorist for speaking out, and expressed support for the SLgov when this was happening.”
“What are you talking about?” he responded. “You are mistaken. I never called you a terrorist. I don’t even know who you are other than the lady who sang at Superbowl…By the way, I defended your finger pointing at the superbowl, so check your facts. I’ve no idea what youre tweeting about.”
M.I.A. continued to accuse Cooper of calling her a terrorist: “in 2009 u linked to an article that was written about me with false info. there was a rebuttal on ur 360 site…2 months later 1ce every tamil had been silenced including me, the SLGOV carried out the killing of 40, 000 civilians.”
Anderson pointed out, “you’ve gone from saying ‘I wrote’, ‘I called you,’ to saying my cnn show blog had a link to an article. Big difference…we link to many articles with different viewpoints, and we gave you an opportunity to respond. I can understand your frustration if someone wrote untrue things about you, and I’m glad you were able to respond.”
The two hashed out their differences, and all was well.
Don’t believe us? Well here’s the real tweets:
MIA: “YOU CALLED ME A LADY TAMIL TIGER when I talked about Tamil civilians dying, and u printed a retraction,” M.I.A. fired back. “In 2009 you linked to a article that was written about me with false info. There was a rebuttal on your 360 site.”
Anderson Cooper: “M.I.A. you’ve gone from saying ‘I wrote,’ ‘I called you,’ to saying my CNN show blog had a link to an article. Big difference,” the esteemed journalist responded. “M.I.A. we link to many articles with different viewpoints, and we gave you an opportunity to respond.”
MIA: “Two months later once every Tamil had been silenced including me, the SLGOV carried out the killing of 40, 000 civilians,” M.I.A. tweeted.
Anderson Cooper: “I can understand your frustration if someone wrote untrue things about you, and I’m glad you were able to respond,”
MIA: “I’m glad you understand but please watch #killingfields because this is what I was trying to say,” adding, “P.S thank you for defending my finger, please watch Channel4 #killingfields.”
Who has the brains?
9. Chelsea Handler vs. Nick Cannon
Winner: Chelsea Handler
Last October, America’s favorite acid-tongued funny lady Chelsea Handler let the Twitterverse know just how she feels about Nick Cannon upon learning that the “America’s Got Talent” host was planning to take his jokes on the road. Handler tweeted, “I just heard Nick Cannon is starting a comedy tour. Who’s going to do the comedy?” Mr. Mariah Carey was none too pleased and responded that the “Chelsea Lately” star was nothing more than “angry, ugly white trash.” Good one. If Cannon’s rebuttal to Handler’s quip is any indication of what’s to come, StubHub better offer refunds.
But good job Nick for standing up for his woman. Who does not love a man who defends his lady’s honor (and weight)? Clearly Mariah has trained him well.
10. Lil’ Kim vs. Nicki Minaj
Winner: Nicki Minaj
Self-proclaimed Queen B Lil’ Kim let her stinger show back in May with a barrage of back-to-back tweets directed toward rival Nicki Minaj, who Kim claims jacked her swagger. Angered by Minaj’s success, the former Junior M.A.F.I.A. member took jabs at the emcee’s penchant for colorful wigs; gave her the nickname “Shitty Garbaj”; alluded to her as a roach; and hurled numerous B-words her way, including “bitch” and “bozo.” Minaj took the high road, however backhanded it may have been, when she chose not to acknowledge Kim’s tweets and instead retweeted a positive message from “Dancing With the Stars,” which announced Minaj’s appearance on the show that evening and alerted viewers that another star will be eliminated from the competition – the feeling of which Kim knows all too well.
Source URL: top-10-list.org/2013/03/29/top-10-celebrity-feuds-twitter/